AdorableCreature

As a curtiousey to other viewers who value their time as well as their brain cells, by reading my rant you run the risk of wasting your time as well as .03% of intelligance. I may make you dumber (or in your case...stupider, get it?). This rant is filled with careless mispelings (just like that) and may induce giggling or vomiting.

I would say "Welcome to my page!", however that implies that I actually welcome everyone reading this. I know some of you are androids, kittens, dead hookers, and other inanimate objects, so instead I will simply say, I am not wearing any pants. I cannot say enough about nudity.

I have been an artist/light bulb/woodchuck licker/ and professional wrestler for many years. Many of these, I do not remember. I blame this on the effects of alcohol. I also eat my young. But I digress.... actually I don't. There is not much of a point to this rant.

You know you are overweight when you haven't seen your penis for years. In fact, when people refer to that area as a 'dark, mysterious, and mystical land' that small hobbits travel to to throw in their gay little rings. I felt it just needed to be said.

On that note, I hope you enjoy yourself. Please note, you will get AIDS from looking at my gallery.

Muffins rock.